I want to update everyone on my Mindful March…it has been a doozie to say the least! The minute I decided to look at my eating and see it for what it was in an effort to feel better, I came down with shingles (they are no joke!!). Then we had a lice outbreak in our house and had to basically throw out and clean out. Then somewhere between a sinus infection, antibiotics, a stomach virus, and an allergic reaction (when it rains it pours), I had to finally break down and laugh. It is what it is. Life happens. Sickness happens. Hence the delay in ANY form of update, anywhere. I feel like there is a lesson in all of this for me. Through all of it, I kept my dedication to mindfully observe my eating and gear myself toward a plan that will help me feel better.
I spent the first few days of March generally operating as usual as far as my food choices, but taking a second before putting whatever it was into my body, noticing what it was and the method I took to decide on the particular piece of food. For example, when the kids didn’t finish all of their pretzels and I was ready to finish them for fear of wasting food, I took notice of how many times I mindlessly ate what was leftover of theirs and then made my own additional food. I jotted all of this down, to get a very real and blunt sense of what EXACTLY I was eating day to day. I didn’t sugar coat, I didn’t edit, I didn’t pretend to have it altogether. As objectively as possible, I wrote the truth.
THEN, after a week or so, I looked at what I had wrote…
Holy cow, The thoughts careening through the halls of my brain amounted to everything I tell athletes in training:
WATCH THE SNACKING.
DRINK HALF YOUR BODY WEIGHT IN WATER IN OUNCES EVERYDAY.
BEWARE OF MINDLESS EATING.
EAT THE RAINBOW (NOT SKITTLES. VEGGIES people…veggies).
TRACK YOUR FOOD SO YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE EATING.
LIMIT ADDED SUGAR.
EAT YOUR CALORIES, DON’T DRINK YOUR CALORIES.
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH, AND ON AND ON AND ON. And then immediately following that onslaught, I began to judge myself (very Unmindfully and with no amount of calm or acceptance).
YOU ARE IN FITNESS AND THE HEALTH INDUSTRY!
YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE EXAMPLE! HOW COULD YOU GO THIS FAR AWAY FROM WHAT YOU KNOW AND BELIVE IN?!
My brain was beating me to a bloody pulp. It had to stop. No matter what my rationale for not sticking to my eating plan was previously, it was time for me to think deeper about my health and where I wanted to be. So, I took a deep breath…(OK MANY DEEP BREATHS).
“I am ready for a change,” I said quietly.
“I am ready to feel good,” I said louder, “And, I need help!”
I started with fitness friends I trusted not to sugar coat, nor to judge. They have helped me with accountability and consult. I consulted with my doctor about my eating struggles, and my anxiety about food (I NEVER talked TO ANYONE about what I honestly ate or drank). Mindfulness brought me to this place, now I had to take action and be honest with myself along the way.